Let's See...

It is only Tuesday, and it has been a full week so far. All the spring sweeps are in order to get the Nielsen ratings and the ever popular "Dancing with the Stars", and "American Idol" are gearing up for their finales. I have a dump truck load of news that I could go over on here, but I have to choose one subject that is dear to my heart.

Will it be...

Credit Card Regulations being passed through the U.S. Senate and House in record pace?

Nope

How about the ultra-cute Olympian Shawn Johnson winning Dancing with the Stars?

Boring. Plus, she sort of looks like a man, with a cute face.

What about that psycho-idiot Nancy Pelosi fudging up the Waterboarding issue and being called on to resign?

That bat is bitch-shit crazy, but, Nope.

How about a glamour porn star making her bid to run for the U.S. Senate?

I can only begin on the jokes of "Political Perks" and Who is effing who in our government with that one, but...Once again, no.



Thank you Stormy.

How about that dip shit, dirt bag Michael Vick getting out of prison?

Now, that is my...

The upstanding human we all know as Michael Vick has been released from federal prison in Leavenworth, Kansas. He will now be confined to a halfway house in Virginia, for around two months to get him re-adjusted to life A.P.B.

(After Pillow Biting)

Vick left Kansas before dawn on Wednesday, to his 5-effing bedroom home in Virginia. He will only be allowed to leave to go to and from his job as a day laborer for a construction company.

The day someone from Virginia makes him labor, will be the day any University of Oklahoma football players actually wash cars.

Holy Shit, Are you serious? That asshole is out of Prison?

The only thing that saved Mr. Vick from being the resident bitch in prison was probably his fame as the fictional character, Ron Mexico. Then again, I would be willing to bet that some of his fellow thugs in harmony at Leavenworth would consider having Michael Vick as his bitch to be a treasure. Then again, can't really wash away herpes.





Until I found out that Michael Douche was going to be confined to his own home for confinement, I had heard rumors that all of his game consoles, which I am certain were encrusted with diamonds had been sold to benefit the Humane Society of Newport News, Virginia. Since he had none of those, he would be forced to watch consecutive episodes of The Pound Puppies animated series until he vomited.

Cooler probably hates his ass too.






As for his stint with the Atlanta Falcons, it is all but over. Mr. Vick managed to piss his fortune away for meager earnings in dogfighting. Who is going to take him now? I don't know. I do have a pretty good idea.

Since cockfighting is legal in the Dominican Republic, and well Mr. Vick is a cock, let him try his hand at another sport. Baseball is the national sport of the Dominican. I have an acquaintance that played some minor league ball in the Dominican. He says that getting packed in the ass by another guy is fairly common. (Vick should be accustomed to that), but that you are only gay if you are "catching". The guy "pitching" has nothing to worry about. Once again, Mr. Vick should be accustomed to that. Not exactly how I define homosexual, but if the shoe, er batting glove fits, wear it.

Then we can let him bankroll a cockfighting ring. If anyone has ever seen the movie Night Patrol, they do the kind of cockfighting that Mr. Vick should be used to at the beginning.

Let's take his view on it, shall we?

Yeah, about as we figured.

Who gives a flying rat's ass anyhow, we could let him back on the field at the Georgia Dome. To run for his life.

I don't see that one happening either. Fitting though.

Vick, I always, always thought you were a thug. However, you probably like that image though. I used to enjoy watching you play, but your moral fiber needs some Metamucil. You were great, really great to watch. When you won that playoff game in Minnesota, it was special. Now, I hope your kids are special, because you have lost your swagger.

Hey! Remember that time Virginia Tech played Georgia Tech and cameras caught you on the sideline with your posse? And, you were higher than a hot air balloon? Yeah, those were the good times. Thug bastard.

We salute you Mr. Vick, for somehow not offing your self in prison because your life sucks so much.

Yeah, fuck you Vick